When it comes to love, none of us know what we are doing. That is a fact. I don’t claim to be an expert either, but we all have our philosophies we like to live by. Everywhere we look we are surrounded by messages of love- some not as apparent as others, but the message is still there. So why is it so hard to love? Shouldn’t that be the one thing in life that comes naturally? The one thing in life that’s easy?
I think we’ve all learned one way or another- most likely the hard way, that love is something that holds tremendous power over us all. We all know that losing someone dear to our hearts is one of the toughest pain to endure- whether it is a break-up, or the death of a close friend or family member. Yet we still can’t quite get it right when we are lucky enough to be given “second chances.” Most of us love ourselves unconditionally, so why is it so hard to extend that love to another human being? We are able to easily speak the words “I love you,” but I don’t think any of us really have a clue as to what we are actually saying.
So, what is love? Is it getting everything you want from another person other than yourself? Is it finding your better half? Is it never arguing, never questioning your significant other, never feeling alone- or bored, always being put first, being bragged about to your significant others friends, buying each other things to keep happy, always keeping busy with exciting/adventurous things to keep the flame burning? Is it pure happiness and bliss? Is it butterflies in the stomach, fireworks when you kiss, and sparks flying when you speak? Does that actually have to happen for one to be ‘in love?’
The truth is, I have no idea what love is. Maybe it is all of the things I’ve mentioned, but I don’t see it that way. We all have this desire to be ‘in love’ yet we can’t even come to an agreement on what constitutes love. Our perception of love has drastically changed over the years so no one, not a single person will have the exact same definition on what love consists of. This means that even your “better half” will likely not have the same definition of love as you. Does this mean you give up and search for someone else who does? Or do you settle for close enough? When it comes to love, no one wants to settle, they want to be certain.. and that can be a problem.
Some of us let our pride and our egos take over and dictate who we allow in our lives even if our gut feeling is telling us different. So which do we choose.. the internal instinct that’s telling you to love, or the ego with too much pride telling you to let go of that weird fuzzy feeling? Or let go of a good thing simply because there were no fuzzy sensations? Which decision do you think you would be happiest with? That is the decision you should go with, the one you want without any external pressure.
Are you happy? If you had to struggle everyday would you want to struggle with anyone else? Would you choose this person over and over even after being tempted by others? Does this person completely understand you? Do you understand them? Do you compliment each other, or is the relationship more one-sided? Can you grow with this person or do you feel held back? These are questions you may want to ask yourself.
Everything I’ve mentioned thus far are only the minuscule components of love. Love transcends far beyond the material world. Love is masculine and feminine- not male and female, i’m talking about energy.. emotions, behaviors. In order for any relationship to be successful there needs to be a balance of energy from both parties! This means both must display basic masculine and feminine dynamics: strength and mercy, beauty and wisdom, care and protection, hostility and forgiveness, accidents and acceptance, creativity and logic, passion and rationalization, excitement and relaxation.. hot and cold, day and night, fire and water.
There is no choosing- we must have both. It is only when the union of masculine and feminine energies come together to compliment each other that we will truly experience love through exquisite harmony. Love is a mystery; instead of pretending we have it all figured out we shall take a step back, examine all perspectives, and allow nature to take it’s course in an attempt to allow for something more beautiful and brilliant than the sun.