What is your dominant Jungian archetype?

The 12 Jungian Archetypes

“The psychologist, Carl Gustav Jung, used the concept of archetype in his theory of the human psyche. He believed that universal, mythic characters—archetypes—reside within the collective unconscious of people the world over. Archetypes represent fundamental human motifs of our experience as we evolved; consequentially, they evoke deep emotions.

Although there are many different archetypes, Jung defined twelve primary types that symbolize basic human motivations. Each type has its own set of values, meanings and personality traits. Also, the twelve types are divided into three sets of four, namely Ego, Soul and Self.”

I am “The Explorer” (according to another)

explorer_large

:Motto: Don’t fence me in
Core desire: the freedom to find out who you are through exploring the world
Goal: to experience a better, more authentic, more fulfilling life
Biggest fear: getting trapped, conformity, and inner emptiness
Strategy: journey, seeking out and experiencing new things, escape from boredom
Weakness: aimless wandering, becoming a misfit
Talent: autonomy, ambition, being true to one’s soul
The explorer is also known as: The seeker, iconoclast, wanderer, individualist, pilgrim.

Desire runs deep, betrayal runs deeper.

“When we seek the gaze of another it isn’t always our partner that we are turning away from, but the person we have become. It isn’t so much that we are looking for another person as much as we are looking for another self.” -Esther Perel: Rethinking infidelity… a talk for anyone who has ever loved (Ted Talks, download the app if you don’t already have it)!!

WOW! My mind has been a complete tangled up mess the past couple of months. I have a few posts saved in my drafts that I never actually published because they were very personal, and too depressing. So much has happened I just needed a place to put my thoughts so I wouldn’t go insane. Things are starting to sort themselves out, now that there are no more secrets.

All I have to say is.. infidelity is one area you never want to find yourself in. It’s like a run-down neighborhood. It just looks sketchy from the outside, but once you put yourself in that town.. it all goes downhill from there. Luckily, there is an exit sign nearby and you just have to run as fast as you can to get to it. Although it may seem like you are running as fast as you can and you are getting absolutely nowhere, soon enough you will be so far from that town, and you will never have to look back.

Infidelity is a very controversial topic. Now days, people have so much pride that they convince themselves they don’t have to be part of that relationship once the going gets tough. They don’t have to feel the emotional pain of being hurt. This is the era where we feel that we deserve to be happy, which can be a problem on both sides of that deceptive looking fence.

For the deceiver (aka the cheater), most people assume they had some evil agenda and that they don’t give a shit about hurting the other person. But, contrary to what you may believe.. that is hardly the case. At least not in this situation, and I now believe that is not the case in many situations. There are many reasons people stray- and that reason mostly comes down to desire. It could be they are seeking desire for attention, affection, to bring back a feeling that they thought was no longer there.. that they thought they’d never feel again, to feel important, desire for mystery, novelty, excitement.. the list goes on.

I’m not saying these “reasons” make it okay to cheat. I’m saying, before you go and completely cut someone out of your life, maybe you should try to understand why they did it.. and then decide whether you want to go on hating them, or perhaps turn a crisis into an opportunity.

The deceived- the truth is, no matter what your (ex) lover tells you, you will not believe a word they say. You want to think the worst, you want to hate them because they threatened your entire sense of trust, they threatened your emotional security. Nothing they say will make it better because you absolutely cannot fathom how someone could do this to someone they love. It is simply unforgivable, and often it is left at that.

But this does no good- for either party. Because the truth is, the “deceiver” may not have had the intention of cheating. They may not have even been looking. But for some reason, the predator and prey come face to face. From there, things go the way neither of them had planned. This leaves the unfaithful one with immense feelings of guilt, anxiety, depression, confusion, apathy, and worst of all- fear.

On the other side of the fence is their loved one. They find out what happens and immediately they are crushed. They react with anger, hostility, hatred, and also with fear. They lash out, they think they must hurt the other person so that the other person can feel what they are feeling, so that they know the pain they have caused. But all they are doing is opening up old wounds, while inflicting more pain on themselves.

Both people suffer. It is a death by a thousand cuts. The deceiver swears they will never make this mistake again. Because they never want to feel, or for anyone else to feel this pain. This one incident will now haunt them for the rest of their lives. For the deceiver- they will feel they can never love again, because they simply don’t deserve to be loved. They deserve every bad thing that comes their way. They feel they deserve no respect or even have to right to demand respect. If they ever did love again, how would this one mistake affect their future relationship? The past will now always interfere.

On the bright side, for the one who was deceived.. they will be able to learn, and grow. They will be able to love again. It may be hard at first but it is possible. Their past won’t interfere with their future in such a negative way. Yes, they may have trust issues.. but they won’t have to feel the burden of being the one who ripped the trust away in the first place.

The unfaithful one, they were unfaithful once.. that doesn’t mean they are going to do it again. They crossed a line that they never intended to cross, and they feel completely and utterly sorry. They feel terrible all on their own without the help of outsiders making sure they feel terrible. They know what they did was wrong. They know that it was the worst mistake they could’ve ever made, but it happened.. and as much as they want to take it back, they can’t.

To the deceiver: The most important thing about it all is that you learned from it. That you make a commitment to yourself to never let it happen again. Because now you no, no matter how right it may feel at the time, it is not worth it. Not at all. Now it is time to accept that the damage has been done, and now you must do everything you possibly can to fix it.

You must realize, it’s not too late for you. You can make a change. You can remind yourself of your morals and values once more.. and tell yourself, this time you are not going to break them, you can only strengthen them. Not for your significant other, not for your family, or their family, or any of your friends.. but for yourself.

Step away from the people who are constantly trying to bring you down because you made one mistake that you know you are sorry for. You are feeling low enough, you don’t need that extra negativity to bring you down further. Surround yourself with those who continue to support you in this confusing, awful time.. those who give you unconditional love. It’s okay for them to admit what you did was wrong, and you didn’t make a good decision, but it’s important that they remember who you always have been, and always will be regardless of that rough patch in your life.

Most importantly, remember that you are capable of resiliency. You’ve gone through so much in your life, what’s one more obstacle? You’ve made achievements, you’ve been successful at some point in life. You are capable of loving again. We are all capable of love. We all deserve a fresh start.. “A world without love is a deadly place” – Helen Fisher.

One last quote:

“The hardest task one can have is to continue to love one’s fellows despite all reasons he should not. And the true sign of sanity and greatness is to so continue. For the one who can achieve this, there is abundant hope. For those who cannot, there is only sorrow, hatred and despair. And these are not the things of which greatness, or sanity or happiness are made. A primary trap is to succumb to invitations to hate…

When cruelty in the name of discipline dominates a race, that race has been taught to hate. And that race is doomed. The real lesson is to learn to love” – L. Hubbard

A note to the one who was deceived: You should know, your project hasn’t failed. You have changed the life of another without even realizing how much of an impact you hold on them. They will never forget you. The lessons you taught were a blessing. The most important one was looking past the external pressures of society and finding the beauty within each and every thing. Your drive, intelligence, and understanding are your most admirable traits, and anyone would be lucky to have you.

Sometimes, in order to understand a situation it’s best to walk away and come back later, refreshed.

Surprisingly, I made it back to Michigan around 1am this morning. I say “surprisingly” because 1) I was so ready to quit reality and stay in Colorado, and 2) we had a crazy storm last night that made flying a bit intense. It was pretty cool though. Flying at night is so much better. Especially seeing the sunset from up above, it is so peaceful. When looking out one side of windows on the plane, the sky was a deep blue atop a burnt orange, with an all black landscape. Looking out the opposite side, it was pitch black but when you looked down, you could see all the cities lit up. It was beautiful!

I met some cool people at the airport and on the plane as well. It was nice because we were all going back home to the same city, so it was cool to get to know some people I may run into at some point. The last half hour of the flight was crazy. We drove right into the storm, and all you could see was darkness, then when the lightning struck- you saw the giant cloud we were driving through, and the red and green flashing lights on the wings of the plane. It was like being on a high speed rollercoaster ride at some horror-themed amusement park. The turbulence was so bad at one point that there was a loud BANG, and the whole plane tilted. I thought we were going down that time, everyone on the plane screamed and held on for dear life. We continued to blaze through the stomach-dropping clouds and the lightning, and finally busted out into clear skies and landed safely. The drive home was another story- just as intense.

I had a great experience on my trip, it was something I really needed. I was feeling pretty down for multiple reasons before I left.. but hiking through the mountains and simply just being away from everyone and everything, in an unfamiliar place was an absolute necessity. Being away helped me to realize what I find most important. Rather than over-thinking and complicating things, I was able to just feel. What I felt is what I decided is important to me. I learned where my mind wanders when I gave it a rest from over-analyzing every situation. I learned a lot about myself, and others.

I accomplished most of the things I had hoped to accomplish on my lustful itch for a “roadtrip.” I became friends with strangers. I learned someone’s story. I had meaningful conversations. I was spontaneous. I maintained a healthy diet. I did what I wanted for once, by myself, and that felt great. Overall, it was an amazing trip and I can’t wait to go back! Oh, and I have to mention the friends I stayed with were the best! Their hospitality was great. They took such good care of me- making dinner, providing alcohol, driving through crazy backed-up six lane traffic to get me to the airport.. and I would be so happy to return the favor for them one day. They will be receiving a gift in the mail very shortly for being so amazing 🙂

Until we meet again, Love to all ❤

co3

Colorado Love

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Colorado has been amazing so far. Aside from the fact that I missed my flight, therefore a day was knocked off from my trip, everything has been great! The very day I arrived we went on a hike! We’ve been all over the place exploring the mountains. It’s a beautiful place to be.

A few things I’ve learned since I’ve been here: you can’t buy beer in a grocery store, well you can.. but it’s less alcoholic. People are very friendly, they always smile and say hello. I think I’ve only ran into one person with an attitude so far in 5 days, that’s a good sign! There are a lot of lesbians out here. People are very open minded (at least in the parts I’ve been to), and they seem  down-to-earth. People in general seem to be healthier. They stay active, and I’ve noticed a lot of people are conscious of what they put into their bodies. They seem to have a deep appreciation for nature and everything it has to offer. Money isn’t the main thing on everyone’s mind, living your life the way you want seems more important. The weather is sort of like Michigan but better (one minute it’s sunshine and clear skies the next it’s a thunderstorm for about a half hr). That being said, this is my kind of living! I have officially fallen in love with the state of CO. I haven’t been many places but I can say this is by far one of the most beautiful and peaceful places to be.

One of the highlights of my trip was going to a town called Manitou. It’s a total hippie town and I loved every aspect of it! The shops, the view, the people, the person playing a washboard…. it was wonderful.

So the entire landscape is beautiful, but the part that really wins it all are the people. I appreciate that everyone I’ve met/seen seem to be very comfortable with who they are and they will flaunt their authenticity which is something I highly value. Every person is unique, and out here, people seem to be very accepting of that notion, and very proud to express themselves the way they are. I guarantee if you were to come out here and try to make a life for yourself, you would easily find your group of people that you enjoy being around, you would fit in, and you would be happy!

With love from Colorado…

The Adventure Begins!

And now…. the moment you’ve all been waiting for! Jk. I wasn’t really going to post much about this trip since things backfired and I had to come up with a new plan, but I am SUPER excited now, so a few posts won’t hurt.

A few months ago I was posting about a roadtrip I would be taking this month out west with a friend. We had a whole route planned and I was starting to ‘roughly’ plan some things I wanted to see/do. Well my friend backed out, which I sort of assumed would happen, so here I am living out the trip by myself. Oh well. I was pretty bummed at first but, life happens and you just gotta accept it and move on.

So, the long.. amazing.. super awesome roadtrip has been postponed. Instead, I have decided to take a flight to Colorado and visit a friend for a little over a week. I have never flown before, so this is still an exciting new experience in itself. I have also never been to Colorado, or out west in general. I am pumped. 6 hours until I have to wake up and drive to the airport. 10 hours until I board my flight. 13 hours until I arrive in Denver where I will meet my friend whom I haven’t seen in three years, and 14-15 hours until we arrive at her place in the springs! They have a BBQ planned for tomorrow night. Good people, drinks, and food in the mountains. Now that’s a great way to start a vacation 🙂

Next post will be from Colorado!!!!

(oh and shout out to my awesome dad for waking up at 2:30 am with me and driving me to the airport!!! 😀 )

State of Grace

When I was younger I always kind of looked at those who practiced meditation as “quacks.” I never gave it much consideration. Little did I know, meditation would become something I would strongly adhere to as I became older because of it’s variety of benefits.

Why meditate: I like to think more about the spiritual aspect of meditation than the physical benefits- though both are wonderful. Spiritually speaking; in the most superficial sense, meditation allows for the connection between the body and soul. This is done by bringing the mind, body and senses into balance. This connection is
important to our very sense of ‘purpose’. The goal of meditation is to heighten consciousness.. to awaken and recognize the soul, simultaneously allowing the soul to recognize oneself. Through meditation, we are open our minds to new possibilities, and we begin to hear our higher self. Meditation is not a religious endeavor, although the two may or may not go hand in hand– prayesoulr itself can be considered a form of meditation. Through meditation individual’s may feel as ‘one’ with their surroundings- in other words, they obtain a deeper awareness that there is no difference between an object and an individual, they simply observe their surroundings without judgement, but with appreciation, accepting everything for what it is. Meditation is the journey to self-realization, allowing one to transform their mind, typically leading to a more positive experience, along with a deeper understanding and connection to our inner-self.

Throughout the day- and even during sleep, the mind happens on it’s own, generating thoughts whether one is consciously participating or not. Typically, this may result in unnecessary, unwanted stress. During meditation, the mind will continue to wander, yet the thought process is slowed down and allows for a ‘focused wander’ as you are only thinking about the present moment.. the “here and now.” This would be referred to as mindful meditation.. leading to a sense of peace, calmness, and security.

Physical/mental benefits: People often turn to meditation for the immediate, physical and emotional benefits, and there is good reason to. Neuroscientists believe that the mind has a “negativity bias” where we tend to focus more on the negative things than positive. Most of the time we are unaware of the neurological activity going on inside, which can lead to failure of recognizing when our bodies are stressed. Usually there is a physiological response from our bodies signaling stress- anxiety, panic attacks, “stress marks,” hives, etc. Meditation is very beneficial in the pursuit to overcome stress and negativity resulting in a multitude of physical and emotional benefits. Some of the most common benefits include:

  • Increased concentration– this is a good one for us bloggers! My favorite part of meditation is pretending time doesn’t exist. With this perspective, there is no struggle to think creatively because everything you need comes to you naturally. Meditation results in a higher state of consciousness where the creativity is forever flowing. It also allows for a heightened ability to focus, and slows down the decline of our cognitive function due to aging and increases gray matter!
  • Improved quality of life– through the reduction of stress, there are tons of resulting benefits- lower blood pressure, improved immune function, etc. that work to improve our physiological well-being. If you want to know more, Google it. There’s tons of benefits so I won’t cover them all right now because there is brainwave synchronization illustrationliterally something for every system in the body. This article does an excellent job explaining the neurological aspect with lots of research to back up these claims!
  • Decreased depression, and anxiety! I have met numerous people who have turned to meditation in order to cope with these two mental illnesses in particular. Anti-depressants aren’t for everyone, so meditation is their best alternative. I have turned to meditation for anxiety purposes and I couldn’t be more happy with my choice.
  • Positive lifestyle– after meditation the tone is set for a good day because of the positive state of mind you are left in, which may lead to more positive interactions.

Tips on how to focus: Use a candle! Your mind will always wander and generate thoughts.. because that’s what it does. Meditation allows one to disengage from their stress-provoking thoughts, through focusing on only one thing for a period of time. This is what will lead to improved concentration in the future. You will be well-trained in taking yourself out of stressful situations, quieting the mind, thinking more clearly, and you can learn to focus solely on relaxation techniques. Focusing on the flame of a candle during meditation will bring the mind back into focus whenever it starts to wander. I particularly enjoy using a candle because it allows for an expansion of awareness leading to all kinds of insights. If you prefer to have your eyes closed, you can also focus on your breathing, or your heartbeat while shifting your gaze toward the third eye! Mantras also help- one of the most commonly used being “Om” — which also has various benefits in itself that I will talk about later on. Also, try not to focus on the outcome, simply focus on just “be”ing. purpose

Finding TIME to meditate: You may think you don’t have the time to meditate, but there is always time. Meditation is one of the most important things a person can do. This should top any priority list, because in the grand scheme of things it won’t matter how fat your bank account is, or what material possessions you’ve acquired. What will matter is the connection you’ve acquired with your soul and spirit, and the consciousness you’ve gained. Once you give meditation a chance to work and you experience the benefits for yourself, you will always make time. Especially because you will anticipate that relaxing and peaceful sensation. Whether it is randomly during the day when you have an extra couple time medof minutes, in the morning when you awake, or at night before going to bed– just don’t lay down! You don’t always have to have long meditations, some days may be shorter than others when starting out. Just remember to keep an open mind and really give it a chance to change your perspective. I guarantee you will be glad you gave it a try. One thing I recommend is finding a way to make it part of your routine. For example, right now I like to do my meditation at night as a way to end the day on a positive note. After my meditation, I like to enjoy a nice steamy shower- it really allows for some intense relaxation and stress relief! Then after my shower, I will enjoy a delicious cup of hot tea (favorite brands are yogi and stash) to benefit my body. I love having tea because it leaves me feeling rejuvenated! It is the best way for me to keep myself in a relaxed, calm, and peaceful state of mind at the end of the night, completely taking the edge off from all the stress during the day, and completing my zen time!

How I do it: When I begin my meditation- either in lotus (sitting cross-legged), or corpse pose.. I take a few good deep breaths- inhaling through the nose, and exhaling through the mouth as a “Haaaaa.” This allows the physical body to go into a deep relaxation, while awakening the main energy points of the body- the chakras. With every exhale, I imagine the tension Caduceus-kundalinileaving certain parts of the body; first the face- the eyes, jaw, and mouth. Then the neck, the shoulders, arms, fingers.. and so on all the way down to the toes. I also like to start out by telling myself to be focused on the present moment, to be in the here and now, and that there is no such thing as time (so that I don’t begin to worry about all the things I need to accomplish). Additionally, that all my worries are “outside” in the external world, where I am leaving them, and taking myself out of for the moment.

When looking into a candle- vision blurred, I like to make comparisons between the candle and the human body to keep focused. How they relate, how the candle can be used as a metaphor for the human experience. Hence, my previous post: The candle and the flame.There are so many ways to go about these comparisons and contrasts, I try to keep mine more positive. Also, keep in mind that each meditation is different!

Once finished with my meditation, I take one last deep breath in and let it out, releasing all the tension and negative energy that’s leftover. Placing my hands together as if I’m about to say a prayer; I place them over my my third eye, bow my head and bring them down to my heart. This is to increase the flow of divine love– “we are all one when we live from the heart,” and it’s simply a gesture for the term “Namaste” — which is to show a deep form of respect. I like to use this gesture to show appreciation for this life and everything I have, and for allowing me to “be” and I thank myself– good self-esteem and confidence booster! Finally, I lean forward from the lotus position and place my hands on the ground- still together in prayer, connecting my body and soul with the heavens and the earth. At the end I like to affirm with myself (for anxiety reasons) that I have nothing to worry about, and that the universe always takes care of me. Whenever something goes wrong, there is always a reason, and everything usually falls into place for the better.

Happy Meditating!

Another Wanderlust Post.

I know, I’m sorry. But I can’t help it! I keep seeing things that remind me of this roadtrip and I get way too excited!! Today, I was pleasantly reminded by this Article: 6 Reasons Why Not Quitting Your Job to Travel is A Waste Of Your Life! I have to say, I completely agree with these 6 reasons (big shock)! Whenever I speak with an elder person, one of the things they make sure to tell me is that if I have the desire to travel (and that I should), do it now, while I’m still young. One elder couple told me of all their travels and how happy they were with what they had accomplished at the time, because shortly after, both their health went downhill and now they are spending all their time with doctor visits and health programs. Luckily, they’ve remained in high spirits and they love to share their stories!

As much as I do feel irresponsible for ditching my “normal life,” I think it is actually very necessary to gain this “Life Experience” while you still can. Then, if/when you come back to “reality” and you are sitting down for an interview with grad. school, or a new job.. you can tell them that you Continue reading “Another Wanderlust Post.”